I’m against KILLING anxiety.
I see all these titles, “BEAT your anxiety, KILL your anxiety, GET RID OF your anxiety” on well-respected websites.
This is exactly why anxiety is still there.
Because we’re at war with it.
We’re trying to fight it, run away from it, terminate it!
If you’re tired of fighting it and seeing it grow stronger as a Lernaean Hydra, why don’t you change your strategy?
Do the opposite.
I often get asked: “Do I have to make drastic changes in my life to get rid of my chronic pain?”.
The answer is no.
You don’t have to turn your life upside down to get relief from chronic pain.
You don’t have to:
The necessary changes are often minimal.
This is my complete guide to Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS) which may be the reason for your chronic pain, fibromyalgia and other conditions.
Do you have recurring back pain, sciatica, or some pain in other areas of your body that can last for months?
Is pain always at the back of your mind stopping you from living your life to the fullest?
Do you also experience other symptoms such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), headaches, heartburns, hiatus hernia, or skin conditions?
Do you often feel anxious or depressed?
If you answered yes to some or all the questions above, you may be suffering from Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS)—and you don’t have to live with that forever.
Tension Myositis Syndrome (TMS), also known as Tension Myoneural Syndrome or Mindbody Syndrome, is a name given by John E. Sarno MD to describe pain, not caused by an injury or a structural problem with your spine, but that is rooted deeply in your psyche.
That’s why it’s called Mindbody Syndrome—the symptoms are physical and manifested in the body but their origins are in the mind.
A question that I often get asked is, “How do I take my mind off the pain? I know I should ignore the pain—but I have a hard time not thinking about the pain”.
I always say, “What a horrible and impossible thing to ask of yourself! You shouldn’t do that”. 😊
Here’s why…
If you say to yourself,
All you’re saying is: You love chocolate, right? 🙂
Similarly, if you say to yourself,
All you’re saying is, “I just can’t stop thinking about you, Mr Pain”, am I right?
Your attention goes to “THE PAIN” rather than “DON’T THINK ABOUT”.
What should I do then?
Why does my pain get worse on the weekend?
Why did my pain start just before my trip to Barcelona?
Shouldn’t I experience more pain when I’m stressed and less pain when I’m relaxed?
A university student recently mentioned to me, “When the pain started I was a carefree first year, loving living with my mates and celebrating everything in my life!”
I can’t answer this question for everyone but I can share my own experience.
I used to have more pain AFTER stressful periods but not during stressful periods.
When I was anxious about a million things, when I strived for getting top jobs in the City, I didn’t have time to think about my pain!
But when I was ready to relax and enjoy my weekend or holidays…
“Oops! Hello, my wonderful pain! I missed you!”.
My chronic pain went away when I was ready to say goodbye to it.
Pain served many purposes in my life.
Pain distracted me from difficult and uncomfortable decisions I knew I had to take in my life.
It was easier for me to deal with the pain rather than quit a successful investment banking career, for example, and disappoint all my family and friends.
“You are too stiff, I can feel tension here and here and here”, Lance my osteopath used to say.
He was right but why was I stiff in the first place?
Because all I did was to please people, say always “yes” to everyone, and care for everyone else except for myself.
I always tried to control others’ opinions and thoughts about myself.
Guess what?
All those maladaptive behaviours made me perfectly stiff. That was the perfect recipe for stiffness! lol
And stiffness brought my back pain, lower back, upper back, leg, chest and everything in between.
And IBS and insomnia and skin conditions and more.
But I’m telling you, for a long time it was easier to put up with the excruciating pain than dump a toxic relationship or the “perfect career” that everyone else would love to have.
Only when I addressed my emotions, my anger, my needs, my wants and took action, did the stiffness, the back pain and all the rest in that package go away.
That process was not easy though.
It took time.
Sometimes I would go halfway and return to my comfort zone—which came with pain of course.
Until one day I had enough and went full way.
I ditched a “successful” career, a toxic relationship, useless friendships, and most importantly, the need to strive to be someone I was not.
And guess what?
I became less stiff.
Lance missed me.
And my pain went away…
Only when I was ready to say goodbye to it.
With love, Angelos
P.S. To learn more about how I healed, check out my chronic back pain story.
P.P.S. And this is how repressed emotions can cause chronic pain (Tension Myositis Syndrome).
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Someone once mentioned to me that their physician recommended cognitive behavioural therapy and hypnosis as part of their pain management regimen.
“I thought it would be total BS at first, but, I’m actually learning a lot and finding physical relief from pain”, she said.
“It does work!”, I replied.
But it’s not as rocket-science as you may think.
Has it ever occurred to you to “forget” about your pain when enjoying an engaging conversation or doing some interesting activity?
You can enter a hypnosis state many times throughout the day on your own without the help of a professional hypnotist.
Hypnosis a sleep-like state, a state of focused attention, a state of hyper-awareness.
Chronic pain is often a habit—neural pathways which get switched on and remain so.
An engaging activity that puts you into what we call “flow” can break that habit and switch off those neural pathways.
You can unlearn your pain the same way you learned it.
How?
By focusing your attention on something else.
Something interesting, engaging, captivating, rewarding.
Something other than pain.
Whatever you used to focus on before pain entered your life.
Right now your eyes are locked on the pain.
You just have to turn your head to a new direction.
What do you want to be hypnotised by today?
A book, a song, a conversation with a friend, sun rays cutting through the water?
I’m sure you’ll find something more beautiful than pain to lock your eyes on.
With love, Angelos
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Why is the pain still there?
Why does it get worse in the morning?
Why does it move?
Why? Why? Why?
I don’t know why.
Pain was always a mystery to me.
I noticed something though.
When I stopped asking “why” and went on to live my life, pain eased.
No longer was it always there.
Or was it? Did I not notice it?
I don’t know.
I noticed though that when I stopped checking in with my pain, it slowly went away.
When I gave up on my pain, pain gave up on me.
One day I had a moment of enlightenment.
I said, “F*** it”.
“I’m going to swim today and watch the rocks and the fish and the sun rays cut through the water”.
And, for a moment, I forgot about the pain.
My pain and I disconnected for a moment.
But the pain returned and intensified.
The following day, I thought, “F*** it, I’m going to swim again and watch the rocks and the fish and the sun rays cut through the water”.
And, for a moment, I forgot about the pain.
But, sadly, the pain returned.
Until one day, I could only see the rocks, the fish and the sun rays cut through the water.
The pain was not there.
All I could see was sun rays cut through the water.
With love, Angelos
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It took me over ten years to get to the root of my chronic back pain and be rid of it permanently.
These days, it’s not chronic and the pain is gone.
I’ve been pain-free for the last five years and I know the pain will not come back.
It’s true, I may have a twinge every now and then but as soon as it appears, I notice it, I laugh at it, and it disappears.
Why?
Because now I understand the pain … and myself.
I promise that if you read this long article to the end, you’ll understand your pain from a new and powerful perspective.
This article will be the beginning of your own healing journey.
Disclaimer: This article is for blogging purposes only. It is not meant to treat or diagnose any disease you may or may not have. For medical advice, treatment and diagnosis please see your doctor or a licensed medical professional.
I’ve suffered from back pain for most of my adult life.
Pain which often lasted for months.
I couldn’t get out of bed, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t walk, couldn’t go to the loo, couldn’t do bloody anything!
I put my dreams on hold a number of times due to back pain.
Pain governed my whole existence.
It was no life.
No meds even touched the pain.
Excruciating, debilitating, paralysing pain.
I tried everything—physiotherapy, osteopathy, massage, acupuncture, yoga, pilates, swimming, meditation, stretching, breathing…
… Sticky patches, tiger balm, TENS machines, back stretchers, hot water bottles, ice packs, Epsom salts, turmeric tablets, magnesium, ginger and all sorts of supplements…
… and CBD oil? I didn’t know about it back then.
And, yes, I slept on my side with a pillow between my legs, or on the recliner or the settee when I couldn’t make it to bed.
Anyway, after a couple of hours, I’d be awake with horrendous back spasms again!
It was time for an MRI.