A question that I often get asked is, “How do I take my mind off the pain? I know I should ignore the pain—but I have a hard time not thinking about the pain”.
I always say, “What a horrible and impossible thing to ask of yourself! You shouldn’t do that”. 😊
Here’s why…
If you say to yourself,
- I don’t like chocolate.
- Chocolate doesn’t thrill me.
- I’m not going to eat chocolate any more.
All you’re saying is: You love chocolate, right? 🙂
Similarly, if you say to yourself,
- Don’t think about the pain.
- Stop looking for the pain.
- You’re not feeling any pain…
All you’re saying is, “I just can’t stop thinking about you, Mr Pain”, am I right?
Your attention goes to “THE PAIN” rather than “DON’T THINK ABOUT”.
What should I do then?
Do something that brings you to life. Something interesting and engaging.
Imagine you are 100% pain-free. What would you do?
Play the guitar? Go to the park? Meet up with friends? Why not?
Whatever you would do if you were completely healed.
And if you end up thinking about the pain again (and you will), don’t beat yourself up.
“Oh, Mr Pain is here again… Hello! What’s up?”
And then, go back to your guitar, the conversation with your friends, whatever you’re doing.
This is how meditation works too, by the way.
You focus on your breathing, you drift away, focus back on your breathing, drift away, etc.
That’s exactly why you need something—an anchor—such as your breathing, a candle, or a mantra.
Otherwise, all guided meditations would go something like, “Close your eyes and stop thinking about work. Now stop thinking about your bills. Now stop thinking about the laundry.”
If that was the case, you’d be thinking about ALL these things you tell yourself not to think about!
That’s why you need an activity or something else to focus on while you’re shifting your attention from the pain.
Focus on living your life. Whatever you fancy doing.
You don’t have to do anything in order to stop thinking about the pain.
To “stop thinking about your pain” is a faulty exercise.
However, playing the guitar, drawing, watching a comedy is real and 100% possible.
While you’re playing the guitar, you’ll think about your pain.
But less and less and less—until you forget it.
Because life will take you back like a siren with the sweetness of her songs.
Life is way more interesting, attractive and seductive than the pain.
Let life solve it for you.
With love,
— Angelos
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