Couples emotionally react to each other.
Get two people together and they are going to have an emotional reaction to each other’s behaviour.
It’s a matter of time before that happens.
They either get over their reactions sooner or later.
If they get over their reactions later, their relationship is not as happy as if they get over their reactions sooner.
The problems start when couples believe that their emotional reaction is a cause-effect of what the other person is doing.
“They said/did that to me and that’s why I’m feeling like that”.
As long as they believe that their reaction is beyond their control and a cause-effect of the other person mistreating them, the relationship is going to get worse and worse over time.
But when they realise that “things are going on in my mind when the other person is doing things and I am the only person who can get over that and get back to where I was before the person did that”, the relationship is going to get better and better over time.
Loving you, Angelos