Banking used to define my identity.
I used to be “my investment banking job”.
And I was always looking forward to that question:
“What do you do?”
“I work in banking.”
And then, I’d stay quiet and wait for the usual …
“Oh wow!!! Nice… What do you do exactly? Which bank do you work for?”
By the way, I wasn’t any senior manager, executive director or head of business.
But still…
“I work in banking” was enough to sell myself to others and … to myself!
We are all defined by what we do and that’s OK.
Our work is a means to self-actualisation.
However, it can be a trap too.
It can be a trap when deep inside we want to be defined by something different.
Or we don’t want to be defined by anything.
The problem is that we find it difficult to let go of the benefits of our current identity.
The money, the power, the status, the perceived success…
However, freedom comes when you accept yourself beyond your professional identity.
And when you stop using this identity to guarantee the love of others.
When it’s just you.
It feels liberating, doesn’t it?
Being just you can be scary at first.
“Who am I without my MD, VP, Head, Senior?”
But when you love yourself without your identity, others can sense it.
And guess what?
They love you too!
More than ever before!
And without the identity!
Probably because you reminded them that they can love themselves without their identity…
How counterintuitive life can be sometimes.
In the end, I had to let go of my banking identity to find myself.
Along the way, I created new identities.
CEO, entrepreneur, teacher, YouTuber, …
Today I have a new identity.
I call myself a coach.
I like how it sounds but I’m also proud of what’s behind it.
There is purpose, fulfillment, and vision behind it.
I believe that it’s a great exercise in life to let go of your “identities”.
One of the biggest lessons is that your professional identity does not guarantee love from family, friends, or partners.
In my opinion, that’s an illusion—it’s not true love.
Do you use your identity to make others love you?
What if you let go of it?
Who would you like to be?
Is there any identity that would suit you more?
Why not try it on?
It might feel better to you…
And if it does, it may also look better to others.
Loving you, Angelos
PS: For peak performance and emotional agility, join my Unshakeable Bankers Club.
PPS: To quit banking vs. stay? Here is a better way to think about it.