Category: Personal Development

Stay in banking or quit banking?

Prison or freedom?

Career or family?

Disquiet or peace?

Not being me or being me?

The problem is NOT finding the right answers to these questions.

The problem is that you’re constantly asking these questions.

You are at war with yourself.

To be more precise, one expression of yourself is fighting another expression of yourself.

Because, by proof of contradiction, if you’re asking these questions it means that you have two selves.

The banking self and the non-banking self.

Otherwise, choosing between the two wouldn’t be a constant struggle, would it?

It’s not about being you or not being you—you are both banking and not banking!

To be more precise, the question is not [Banking VS Not Banking].

The question is [What your Banking Self wants VS What your Non-Banking Self wants].

You’re struggling because you haven’t transformed the problem to a different space where you can see the intersection of the two selves more clearly.

But you must give voice and honour both selves.

A Neurolinguistic Programming exercise that integrates both selves.

This is the exercise I often do with my clients.

1. Sit comfortably in your chair and embody your investment banking self. What does your IB self really want? Let him/her speak to the non-IB self. Once you’re done, shake that self out, stretch, move around, and take a couple of deep breaths.
2. Move your chair to a different place and embody your non-IB self. What does your non-IB self really want? Let him/her speak to the IB self. Once you’re done shake that self out again.
3. Go into what I call a meta position, ie. an observer position. Is there something that both selves agree on? What do both want for you? Explore both selves from that neutral and unattached position.
4. What is an agreement that would make both selves happy?
5. Continue the conversation between the two selves until an agreement is reached.

In the end, you’ll find that…

You may quit banking and feel fulfilled.

Life has so much to offer.

Having made it in investment banking shows that you have all it takes to have success in any other profession.

You are a go-getter. You don’t lack motivation. You are goal-oriented.

You can build your own business, you can break into a totally different industry.

God, you can do ANYTHING. If not you, who???

You may stay in banking and still feel fulfilled. 

Maybe all you need is:

• a change in your lifestyle
• more time for recreation
• a relationship
• the ability to set boundaries and say no
• to build a new skill
• to become a more effective communicator
• more empowering beliefs
• a new role
• a new team
• a mentor
• to have a conversation with your boss

In any case, the deepest and most enlightening insights will emerge once you’ve embraced both your IB and the non-IB self and invited them to a conversation with curiosity and wonder.

Loving you, Angelos

PS: To explore what your banking self and non-banking self want, join my Unshakeable Bankers Club.

“I should spend more time with my family”, you say.

You often feel guilty because you spend too much time at work.

But there is something you’re not seeing.

There are legitimate reasons for this.

Reasons that live in your unconscious mind.

Have you wondered what drives this behaviour?

Can you sit with that part of yourself for a few moments?

What does it really want?

What is its purpose?

Honour that part of yourself. Talk to it. Listen to it.

It has good intentions, doesn’t it?

If you feel guilty, that’s okay. 

Sit with the guilt. There is precious information there—unique opportunities to establish a rapport with your unconscious.

Yes, I often feel guilty too, my friend.

But I don’t suffer any more.

I have become one with every part of myself.

No part is repressed any more.

This is what we practice in the Unshakeable Bankers Club.

Loving you, Angelos

Photo: With my wife in Lefkada, Greece.

You’d never say to a rocket …

“Why are you so noisy?”

So… why do you say to yourself…

“Why do you get stressed?”

Stress is NOT the problem.

The problem is that you are asking these questions…

The real problem is… the fear, denial or shame of stress.

Loving you, Angelos

I am often asked, “Why did you leave investment banking?”

It’s a long story but here’s one reason…

One of my favourite contemporary Russian authors, Mikhail Veller, says in his book Everything about Life:

“An indicator of a good life is the memories you create”.

So, if you were to write a chapter in your life’s book for last week, month, year, would you have enough memories to write about?

For me, the scariest thing about working in banking was that I was not creating enough new memories.

My life was flashing by.

It was all work and accumulating money.

Time had shrunk.

Monday to Friday was home – Canary Wharf – and back home.

I know a lot of things have changed these days but…

What’s your experience?

Are there any memories you’d love to create but you’re currently not creating?

Loving you, Angelos

Old picture: The view of the Thames from my desk at 1 Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, London.