Stay in banking or quit banking?
Prison or freedom?
Career or family?
Disquiet or peace?
Not being me or being me?
The problem is NOT finding the right answers to these questions.
The problem is that you’re constantly asking these questions.
You are at war with yourself.
To be more precise, one expression of yourself is fighting another expression of yourself.
Because, by proof of contradiction, if you’re asking these questions it means that you have two selves.
The banking self and the non-banking self.
Otherwise, choosing between the two wouldn’t be a constant struggle, would it?
It’s not about being you or not being you—you are both banking and not banking!
To be more precise, the question is not [Banking VS Not Banking].
The question is [What your Banking Self wants VS What your Non-Banking Self wants].
You’re struggling because you haven’t transformed the problem to a different space where you can see the intersection of the two selves more clearly.
But you must give voice and honour both selves.
A Neurolinguistic Programming exercise that integrates both selves.
This is the exercise I often do with my clients.
- Sit comfortably in your chair and embody your investment banking self. What does your IB self really want? Let him/her speak to the non-IB self. Once you’re done, shake that self out, stretch, move around, and take a couple of deep breaths.
- Move your chair to a different place and embody your non-IB self. What does your non-IB self really want? Let him/her speak to the IB self. Once you’re done shake that self out again.
- Go into what I call a meta position, ie. an observer position. Is there something that both selves agree on? What do both want for you? Explore both selves from that neutral and unattached position.
- What is an agreement that would make both selves happy?
- Continue the conversation between the two selves until an agreement is reached.
In the end, you’ll find that…
You may quit banking and feel fulfilled.
Life has so much to offer.
Having made it in investment banking shows that you have all it takes to have success in any other profession.
You are a go-getter. You don’t lack motivation. You are goal-oriented.
You can build your own business, you can break into a totally different industry.
God, you can do ANYTHING. If not you, who???
You may stay in banking and still feel fulfilled.
Maybe all you need is:
- a change in your lifestyle
- more time for recreation
- a relationship
- the ability to set boundaries and say no
- to build a new skill
- to become a more effective communicator
- more empowering beliefs
- a new role
- a new team
- a mentor
- to have a conversation with your boss
In any case, the deepest and most enlightening insights will emerge once you’ve embraced both your IB and the non-IB self and invited them to a conversation with curiosity and wonder.
Loving you, Angelos
PS: To explore what your banking self and non-banking self want, join my Unshakeable Bankers Club.