I often get asked: “Do I have to make drastic changes in my life to get rid of my chronic pain?”.
The answer is no.
You don’t have to turn your life upside down to get relief from chronic pain.
You don’t have to:
- get a divorce
- quit your job
- move countries
- spend 6-months in a meditation centre in India
- lose 60 pounds
- change all your “limiting beliefs”.
The necessary changes are often minimal.
All you need to do is accept who you truly are.
You don’t have to act on your feelings.
You may feel jealous because your best friend bought a new Ferrari.
“Mmm… interesting. It looks like I’m feeling jealous. Let’s explore this. Is it because I’d also like a Ferrari? Do I really need a Ferrari? It could be… or maybe not?”.
The problem here may not be the Ferrari but the shame of feeling jealous of your best friend.
It’s absolutely fine to feel jealous of someone else… even your best friend.
You don’t need to buy a Ferrari or stop feeling jealous to release the tension in this case.
Accepting anything and everything you feel is enough to release the trapped energy and the pain.
Here’s another example.
If you’re in a relationship and you come across an attractive person, you don’t have to sleep with that person to release tension and pain in your body.
Acknowledge that feeling, “Interesting. I just felt attracted to that person. That’s perfectly normal. They are strikingly beautiful”.
However, if you judge yourself or feel ashamed of feeling attracted to someone else, tension and pain can build up in your body.
Fighting or repressing the feeling is what creates the pain—not the feeling itself.
Understanding why you react the way you do when your boss says something is enough to release the tension.
You don’t have to punch your boss in the face or quit your job (but either of the two might help!)
You may find that your pain is a result of:
- unresolved trauma from childhood
- incomplete grief because you always had to be the strongest in the family
- anger towards a family member
- perfectionism covering feelings of low self-esteem
- resentment about past decisions
Acceptance and forgiveness may be all you need to heal.
You can’t change the past.
You don’t have to change the present or the future.
Going pain-free is about doing less, letting go, surrendering, gearing down.
Going pain-free means more oxygen, space, and freedom in your life.
And, yes, you may:
- have to face some “dark” sides of yourself that you always were scared to look at
- get rid of bad habits
- make changes that will facilitate the installation of new habits
- have to say no more often and lose a few “friends”
- reevaluate what’s important to you.
However, all these changes are up to you and don’t need to happen overnight.
With love,
—Angelos
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